Wednesday, April 13, 2011

"Sexcuses" That Will Ruin Your Marriage

Thank you, for your assistance with planning my wedding. Your advice on 13 things NOT to tell my bridesmaids and top wedding day regrets and how to avoid them were clearly vital to my planning process as were your phenomenal tips for saving money like, "only hire a day-of wedding coordinator" and "don't buy off-season flowers." Invaluable. You managed to make me feel broke, cheap and stressed with each new article and e-newsletter. It was quite motivating...

I was THRILLED when, just four days after my wedding, I found I had automatically rolled-over into The Nest. The minute the dust settled (had it?) on our wedding, you kindly began filling my inbox with what is inevitably NEXT in my life: cooking, cleaning, saving money and getting myself preggers ASAP (who writes this stuff, my MIL?).

Today I was especially thrilled to learn that I can save my marriage by simply sucking it up and having more sex. Clearly putting out is the only way I will be keeping the wonderful, attractive, and easily distracted man I caught, even when I don't feel like it.

And don't forget to lose weight while you do it with the best calorie-burning sex moves cause the second easiest way to lose your man is by getting fat.


Jessica said...

God, that site is like the worst of Cosmo,Parenting, andGood Housekeeping all rolled into one!

Amy L said...

Hilarious. It's amazing how many news reports on TV, magazine articles, and internet articles are filled with poorly-written, unhelpful(is that a word?), useless information.